i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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