Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
