I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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