my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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