I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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