I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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