who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
