Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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