its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
