but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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