So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
