dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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