Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
