Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
