I accidentally burped into my bong.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
