Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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