did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
