I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
