well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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