I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
