Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize