What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
