okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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