yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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