I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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