I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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