i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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