it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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