New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
