STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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