return my video game
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
