Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
