You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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