It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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