Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work

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(914): View more from New York

say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.

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(330): View more from Ohio

...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...

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(325): View more from Texas

I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

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(650): View more from California

I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..

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(804): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.

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(727): View more from Florida

My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.

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