you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
