gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
