Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The air was thick with penises
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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