No subtext here. People are naked.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
