i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize