As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
