she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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