I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
