No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
