your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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