At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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