I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
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