that's an acceptable place to lick
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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