You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
