I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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