The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
