Fuck appropriateness.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
