i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
