Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize