My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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