There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
