i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I love you. Go after that dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
