No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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