thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
