I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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