The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
