omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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