pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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