I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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