Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I love you.
Bad choice
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize